Feeling Forty? Buy a Baby!
Despite the fact that I’m having a great time lately, I am feeling old. It’s creeping up on me like a bad fungus. In the mirror last night I saw — aaaaaackk!! — hundreds of gray hairs. Wait, did I say gray? I meant snow white. Now I know how that bad stepmother felt (or whatever the bad snow white lady was, another evil Disney female) when she looked into her enchanted mirror. Lucky for me, those white hairs are buried beneath a gleaming layer of blonde-tinted brown hair. It’s my secret for now. Which, of course, got me thinking the MOST DREADED THOUGHT OF ALL: I am only getting older by the moment.
If that doesn’t send you into a food-chocolate-salt depression cycle then I don’t know what does!
My remedy for this is obvious: I need a new baby. Nothing makes you feel younger than being responsible for a mewling infant, right? However, we are having no more of those big human kind that come out like watermelons through a Polly Pocket sock. No Way. We’re going for the small, fluffy, milk-breath, tail-waggy kind. Yep, I’m buying a puppy.
Stay tuned… Pictures of my new baby to come!
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