Evil Barbie, or, How Liberal-Leaning Women See Palin
As a woman who loves to ride dirtbikes, there is a part of me that thinks Sarah Palin seems like a pretty awesome person. She really is macho, “tough as nails” as every news article seems to call her. I like that she’s the governor of Alaska where she clearly fits in and is an effective leader. But people, the population of Alaska is roughly 700,000. THAT’S THE SAME AS THE *COUNTY* I CURRENTLY LIVE IN! So, she very effective at running what in California would be called “local politics.”
Here’s what one commenter from a recent Times Online article wrote:
As a Yorkshire woman living in the United States we have known a LOT about Palin for a LOT of years. She is certainly no new comer to the socio-political scene. Her record is sound. Her belief’s a cornerstone of her politics. As a conservative I don’t like liberal John McCain – but Palin is AWESOME!
~Denise, Ruidoso, USA
“Liberal” John McCain? Ha! That is a hoot, but it serves to illustrate just how far right Palin is. She’s got that ultra-conservative thing down. And she’s an ex-beauty queen and mother of five children. SHE’S EVIL BARBIE! Because we all know that Evil Barbie doesn’t want women to have access to birth control. Evil Barbie thinks women should carry guns and shoot animals, but remember girls, never carry a gun bigger than your husband’s!
I think I’d like Palin as a person. Just so long as we NEVER discussed politics.
Why McCain Just Lost the Election
Rampant commentary floating around teh Internets about the bizarre choice of Governor Palin for McCain’s VP pick. A few hopeful GOP types are attempting a positive spin, but it’s just got QUAYLE written all over it. It seems like a desperate cry for Hillaryness. It won’t fly and here’s why. No fourty-four year old woman with five chillrens and two years as governor (of ALASKA! It’s not even daytime there half the year!) is ready to be president when McCain kicks the bucket. I’m not saying he will, but EVERYBODY KNOWS you pick a VP who can be president if the real elected guy dies. Biden’s got teeth and presidential hair. It’s clear he’s qualified, but Palin? McCain, you let the pressure get to you. You caved on some bad advice. Here’s a quote from the NY Times:
Mrs. Palin was fairly unenthusiastic about the vice presidency when she was asked about it during an Aug. 1 interview with Larry Kudlow on CNBC.
“I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the V.P. does
everyday? I’m used to being very productive and working real hard in an administration. We want to make sure that that V.P. slot would be a fruitful type of position, especially for Alaskans and for the things that we’re trying to accomplish up here for the rest of the U.S., before I can even start addressing that question.”
Boy, you sure can tell Karl Rove’s out of the picture, can’t you?
Duchovny in Rehab for Sex Addiction! Oh My!
There’s something TERRIBLY unsexy about sex addiction. Like, what the heck is it? Is it contagious? Is it like a dog that never got fixed? Does Duchovny hump people’s legs when they’re not expecting it? “David, I’ve been patient, dude. Get off my leg, man. Dude, I’m serious. Get off my leg. DAVID! OFF!”
I believe. I believe in aliens anyway. But, what, all this sex is with his wife, right? No? Prostitutes? Prostitutes wearing black strappy leather? Hmmm, I’ll have to remind my guy friends who get caught (of which I have none, but still) to remind their wives that they have a “condition” and must be dealt with gently!
You do realize aliens did this. It’s the beginning of their scheme for world domination. “Gleeck, you moron, I said hit the humans with the domination ray, not the dominatrix ray!”
Antidote to Evil
I spend a lot of time wondering why people do evil things. Clearly, in some cases it’s brain chemistry gone bad. Evil people are sometimes just physically sick people. But sometimes evil people are normal people who turned bad. Or acted badly and then returned to normal. Everyone wants to know how could terrorists blow up innocent people and think they’re right? Or how did Nazis forget to disagree with Hitler? The reasons are complex and worth addressing because we all know 90-99% of humans are capable of great malice in exceptional circumstances. (Or maybe that’s just me if anyone messes with my kids. Or my ice cream…)
Well, if you’re like me and you feel disheartened by the glorification of violence in things like video games and (some) rap music, here’s something cool: The Hero Workshop.
The idea of the workshop is to respond to one of society’s great problems: if we as individuals don’t seek to correct evil who will? This is an awesome program that seeks to encourage kids to do the right thing. To be a whistleblower even though it can be tremendously difficult and come at a cost. I love this idea because it’s taught in a constructive way that reminds us all of our civic duty to preserve peace. This workshop doesn’t teach vigilantism, it teaches kids to feel good about respecting their sense of right and wrong. I’m assuming there’s probably a difference in religious schools, but this is not taught in public school. A moral compass, tempered with compassion and humanity, is a valuable thing to own.
All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing.”
~Edmund Burke
PUMAs, Don’t Nader the Election!
Unless your pretty deep into following convention news you may not have heard of PUMAs, which stands for Party Unity My Ass. This is a group of Hillary Clinton supporters who range in their assertions everywhere from “I want to vote to nominate Hillary at the Democratic National Convention and you can’t tell me not to,” all the way to “The Obama camp cheated it’s way into the nomination and I am voting for McCain.”
So, okay. I have a deep love for Hillary Clinton, too. But dear people, dear PUMAs, this is not reasonable. I understand it’s hard to get past the fact that Hillary is not the nominee, but she’s just not, K? Let’s stand back and take a look at all that anger and disgruntledness you are sending out into the world. Is it productive or constructive? You may argue that is is, but what EXACTLY are your hoped for outcomes? That Hillary will magically become viable once again as a candidate? NEWSFLASH! Time moves in one direction: forward. It’s hard to accept, but it’s true. Letting go can be cathartic. Think about it. And I’ll suggest an alternative response other than protests and pissed-off rhetoric: Turn all that energy toward letting the Obama camp know exactly what you wanted from Hillary. Let the Obama camp know that you 
now demand it of them in exchange for your support, which I further agree should not be automatically claimed or assumed without listening to you.
And PUMAs? Can I appeal to your logical, sane side for a moment? If you don’t knock it off, you may be screwing up getting a Democrat into office. You may be throwing the election to the Republicans. LIKE NADER DID. I am not a Democrat. I am a card-carrying member of the Green Party. However, even I can grasp that I do not want McCain elected for the simple reason that, of the things I do want from the POTUS, Obama is closer than McCain. Can you get there? Can you get there soon? Promise you’ll try before November, K? Thx!
Honesty? Integrity? Nah, Just Wealth!
When it’s a question of how many millions a candidate is worth, I’m already wondering why the average American doesn’t just revolt right now. Democracy in a republic means we are represented by people like us, right? Sort of like a jury of one’s peers? Only in our country, it’s a guarantee since the times of the Founding Fathers that anyone with any hope of being elected must be wealthy. Let’s examine this more closely, shall we? This here calls for a TOP TEN LIST!
Top Ten Reasons Why Presidential Candidates Must Be Rich:
10
Need a lot of houses when ruling a large country (hotels can get expensive!)
9
Need to know a lot of lawyers and stockbrokers to handle lobbyists (must be able to “talk the talk,” eg, yeah baby, I can get you the contract but I’ll need a couple hundred thou donated to my campaign, sabby?)
8
Golf
7
Must be healthy, tall, fit, and possess endurance and stamina, therefore, must work out, preferably with personal trainer. No big beer belly, no big desk butt.
6
Can’t wear tacky clothes or shop at Ross. When lacking fitness, must be able to afford expensive suits to hide fat. (like Karl Rove) $500 loafers only, please.
5
Must be well educated. Can’t say “ain’t true, bruddah” or “ax me WTF.” Can’t throw down a big f-bomb when frustrated. Must say, “I take exception to your comment.” Can’t tell lowbrow jokes at state dinners, eg, “Your momma’s so fat she done fell down and broke her leg and GRAVY poured out!”
4
Must be able to afford dry cleaning. No dog hair or, uh, bodily fluids on clothes. (If Monica Lewinksy wasn’t so poor, we would never have known…)
3
Must be able to afford ghost writer for self-aggrandizing memoir.
2
Can’t have a real job, else no time to speechify and glory in the extreme self-love required of all candidates.
1
Must be able to afford nanny (no butt wiping in the White House!), driver (no Prius in the White House!), personal trainer (no chub, asthma, weak muscles in the White House!), cook (no bean-soaking, chicken de-skinning, potato mashing in the White House!), housecleaning army (no vacuuming, dusting, doing dishes, or mildew scouring in the White House!), and speechwriters (no inarticulate bumpkins or jackasses in the White House! Unless your GW, in which case we all scratch our heads and wonder how the heck anyone let that happen…). Oh yeah, and therapist (no crying, anxiety, nightmares, or irrational demands for protection from aliens while in the White House!)
Median income for the average American: about $48,000.
McCain’s income: $405,000.
Obama’s income: $4.2 million, with about $261,000 from salaries and the rest from book royalties.
Average American Family’s net worth $93,000.
Obama Family’s net worth $1 to 3 million.
McCain Family’s net worth $25 to 38 million.
Ralph Nader’s net worth $4 million.
Wow. Dudes. Even Nader.
-
-
About
Welcome to duh pookie where we work hard to bring you sparkly new thoughts.
-
- RSS Feed
-
Visit Political Voices of Women Community
